You Know That I'm Workin, I'll Be There Soon As I Make It Homeee

So yesterday was a good day...Derrick Rose is the Chosen ONE! and Cavs swept the series...but today...ehh...not so much.

As I sit here melting away- cuz it's hot as balls out here-I feel as though I've got a lot to get off my chest. It's been a while since my last blog, and since then, I've been incredibly stressed because, honestly, there's been a lot going on in terms of workload. But don't get me wrong, I've been the happiest I've been in a long while and, still, am quite optimistic about the times ahead. So don't let this blog fool ya. On that note, this blog will be one of the very few that will probably shy away from the usual "inspiration" blog; hopefully, it won't be too somber.

Ima just come out and say it. Ouch. After all that I've been looking forward to, it happens time and time again...and yeaa...

...Ouch.

I look around, and see how easy it is for people to just find someone and I tend to ask myself, "Why is it difficult for me?"

Maybe I'm too picky. Maybe I should lower my standards. Maybe Im afraid of getting hurt again. Maybe I should stop being so passive and actually fight for these girls. Maybe I'm afraid of confrontation, so whenever there's competition, I stop pursuing these-what i feel are- "perfect-for-me girls. And then, they usually end up with that competition. I mean don't get me wrong, it is hard. But I can't pretend that I haven't been fortunate in other areas of my life; Cuz the truth is I've been blessed with a loving family, good friends and was lucky enough to be born into a life of opportunites.

Maybe I should stop feeling sorry for myself.

Ya know, I've been told- by family- that sometimes, people find their soulmates. But that doesn't mean they end up with them. It seems like a sad revelation, especially since the divorce rate is so high. But from what I see, it is a reality.

So yea...I am a bit frustrated. Some people, i feel, are destined to live hard lives and I'm not saying that I'm one of them. Sometimes it just sucks, but at the end of the day, It's up to you to make the most of life. It's up to you, to take risks.

“You miss 100% of the shots you never take.”

So yea I am determined to, not only find that soulmate; but to end up on the other side of that 50%. The side that movies often capture and label as happily ever after. And I know it doesn't just come to you. Things worth having, you definitely have to work for. But maybe there's a reason why I haven't had much luck, as of recent; why I've been somewhat tortured by bad luck in this department. Maybe it's that Im destined for something great and special in the future. That's a nice thought.

Anyways, I'm losing my interest in this blog..so i better wrap it up. (T,A,S,T,K,H,L<--all suck =P-don't worry I'm not really bitter) "Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

-Wayne Gretzky

To be continued...

P.S. You could have my heart, or we could share it like the last slice..(yea i guess im on the Drake bandwagon now... i know im late.)

operation shutdown::commenced

Mindset

ya know...i'm not really in the writing mood, or right mindset-oooohh see how i just did that- to chronicle my inspiring lesson of the day or blog or whatever. So, I'm gonna just wing it and hopefully i'll get into it. The past couple days have been, let's just say, one of the most stressful days of my life so far. And ya know what? I'm not even halfway done. Not even a quarter of the way. A couple days down and about 8 more days to go. But, I can see the light at the end of the hallway and I'm not looking back! Don't worry, I'm keeping my head up and giving it my all; as we all should, everyday of our lives.

I struggle to find a balance between working hard and over exerting myself, to even procrastinating completely. What I lack is discipline( or disaprine lol)....*sigh*.. if i only enlisted. But you know what, I didn't. And despite some regrets, I am somewhat glad that i pursued a higher education at St John's(not that i wasn't planning on going to school after my service was up) but i've met some great people, went through countless amounts of different challenges, and witnessed many memorable experiences. *sigh* Hayley...lol that was random. I guess i'm just thinking about girls or just what i've gone through in the last 3 or so years. Great Memories. But let's get back to my initial reason for this blog...

I remember driving home Tuesday, from class, knowing exactly what i had to do(regarding posting and finishing work and etc). And i knew the enormous amount of work that lay ahead of me. For that brief moment driving home, i could relax for a bit, awaiting the certain "punishment" i would take from a stressful lifestyle in academia. I turned on my cd player..and "tired and uninspired" by my american heart instantly played and I became motivated for some reason. Like a soldier about to storm the beach of Normandy, Like a boxer going through his prefight ritual just before the brawl. I was pumped to face my challenges head-on. Some of the lyrics that come to mind are: " Relax, relax. Exhale and breathe, just breathe for me." And I remember thinking to myself that I will get through this, but i think the most important thing that kept me from panic and from feeling overwhelmed was my mindset. My mental state at that moment was just, confident and strong...knowing, that i would succeed.

Originally i wasn't going to mention how "the Office" correlates to this situation; but where's the fun in that! [My original purpose of starting this blog was mainly due to inspiration. And it just so happened that "the Office" influenced me that day, i mean don't get me wrong "the Office" is an inspirational show( even though that's not technically the type of show it's showcased to be) but this time "the Office" isn't, solely, my inspiration for writing this entry.] And it just so happened that the night before i was watching that masterpiece of a show, and it didn't occur to me until the drive home the many lessons that i could take from each episode regarding my current predicament. And just for records sake, i was watching the episodes, " Christmas Party" as well as "Casino Night." I remember Jim basically getting the courage to tell Pam how he felt. Even through all they went through, he was willing to sacrifice and give it his all, no matter the outcome. And that's exactly how i felt in the car on the way home... like Jim, pre-rejection in "Casino Night"( but without the whole rejection part. Either way it doesn't matter, as long as you give it your all!)

But anyways it's getting late, and im getting bored with this. So until next time...

P.S. "Be strong for me, I'll be strong for you."

Over and Out.

Satisfaction

Okay so my original plan was to write blogs about life lessons that can be found in "The Office." (This blog will be one exclusion.) And even though, this "lesson", im sure, can be found somewhere in that masterpiece of a show, tonight's revelation came to me from OTH or a show better known as One Tree Hill.

Before I go any further, i must confess that i have seen maybe one or two episodes in it's entirety, but that is besides the point. Oh and I'm not one of those religious-like followers of the show, so i have no idea what is going on.

But at that moment, that i was channel surfing- through the 15 or so channels that I, sadly, have- came a dialogue between two characters( the Minkus character from Boy Meets World and some other guy) about "moving on" from a relationship. The..uhh.. Minkus character asked, "how are you handling this so well?" And the other character answered back something along the lines of, "Well, I just tell myself that she's the one, and that she'll be back. And if she's not, she [the one] is still out there."

I smiled, upon hearing that. Not only because I've been having relationship problems( well,not problems per se...let's just call them issues if that makes sense), as of late; but because, to me, that can account for something completely unrelated to relationships. The satisfaction of knowing that better times are ahead. Well, not completely unrelated..

And so, this blog is not, directly, about sour relationships or even just relationships in general. I wrote this because I'm stressed out with school work and just work, as a whole. I have 3 papers and presentations due within the next week, plus a career fair, and prosepective jury duty. And i know that procrastinating doesn't help the situation, but i felt overwhelmed. Just knowing the satisfaction that better times are ahead, helps me get through this.

So keep your head up, Sleep Well. Dream Big.

..to be continued

Intro: Inspiration or "inspiration" or za..ha..da..

Inspiration is the key. It's what brought us here to this exact moment, this exact "place." It can motivate us to be, and to do... it can change our lives. I can only hope that my epiphanic-like thoughts stir something in you and leave you hungry for more, and I'm not sure that i can promise such worthful insight; as my initial "inspiration," for finally starting a blog, comes from the very "inspiring" show called, "The Office." I know this can be misleading, and I am somewhat embarassed to reveal that "The Office" was the catalyst for this blog, but the show, although incredibly humorous, provided me with valuable insight and an incentive for sharing inspirations or even just anything at all.

Well, it's really late and i hope this makes sense. Hopefully i can further clarify in a later entry... i apologize. On some level, it is okay...because i know what this means to me.

Sleep Well. Dream Big.


...to be continued. i hope